7 Things You Don't Know About Solo Sex

Think you know everything about, ahem, dialing "O" on the pink telephone? Check out this surprising info...

It does your body good...
Paddling the pink canoe (or whatever you want to call it) not only feels ah-mazing, but it also has a ton of research-proven health benefits. That's because it releases feel-good endorphins, which do everything from ease stress to relieve menstrual cramps. One recent study published in Sleep Medicine even found that masturbation can treat restless leg syndrome (a neurological disorder that causes your legs to jerk around in bed). Uh, we'd love to see the doctor's prescription form for that.

...but not if you do it this way.
A University of Michigan study found that women who masturbate with saliva (i.e., wetting your fingers before you give yourself a hand) have a higher risk of developing frequent yeast infections. Researchers think it's because the saliva may disrupt the balance of bacteria down there. If you want to lube up before you get on with your horny self, choose the bottled kind instead.

We're still keeping it on the DL.
Apparently we can't let go and allow our self-love flag to fly. According to research from Penn State University, women talk more about sex than men do...except when it comes to masturbation. Men are more likely to trade info among themselves on how they do it and what they think about (or watch). We're not saying you need to start updating your Facebook status every time you give yourself an O, but occasionally discussing it with a few close gf's can help you figure out new ways to experience even hotter pleasure.

Lady monkeys need self-loving too.
Scientists have observed a wide variety of animals masturbating in the wild, including deer, monkeys, walruses, and squirrels. In fact, female apes and monkeys have been known to use sticks for, ahem, added pleasure down there.

That old wive's tale about masturbation causing acne? It's kinda true.
That's because when you climax, your body experiences a spike in the hormone testosterone, which can cause zits. The increase in testosterone is (very) small, though, so it's unlikely that you'll have a breakout.

It's possible to think your way to a party for one.
Researchers at Rutgers University have documented women who can climax without touching themselves. In a study, these women "thought" their way to climax while inside an MRI machine; scans revealed that their brains lit up during orgasm in the exact same spots as did women who peaked the old-fashioned way.

And, uh, exercise your way there too.
Some women can hit the high note just by doing crunches that include a leg raise — it causes the pelvic muscles to tighten and release, which can unleash a wave of blissful contractions down there.

3 Tips to Ensure a Hot Date Night with Your Husband

Half the battle of having a hot date night is actually having a date night at all. Here's how to make it happen.

1. Snag a sitter — fast. Mom's busy, your standby teenage neighbor has a new boyfriend — now what? Go to sittercity.com or seekingsitters.com. Both sites post reviews from other parents and list babysitters who have CPR training. Or call your local YMCA to ask about nighttime programs for school-age children.>

2. Have "dessert" first. If you tend to conk out after dinner, have sex before your date, suggests Scott Haltzman, M.D., author of The Secrets of Happily Married Women. Ask the sitter to arrive early so you can "get ready." "It'll relieve the will-we-do-it tension," he says. "And men feel more connected and talkative after sex." Women too!

3. Cure we-can't-afford-it syndrome. Skip the pricey dinner and do coffee and dessert instead, suggests Lindsey Rietzsch, author of How to Date Your Spouse. More ways to find good, cheap fun: Check out groupon.com or livingsocial.com for deals on restaurants, couples massages, even dance classes.
 

How to Have a 15-Minute Female Orgasm

Step 1:
First, get undressed and lie on your back using a pillow for neck support. Your legs should be bent and spread, feet together in butterfly position. If this makes your hips uncomfortable on one or both sides, just put pillows underneath the knees.


Your guy should sit to your right side on top of at least two pillows and straddle his bent left leg perpendicularly across her torso, foot flat on the opposite side. (It almost looks as if he's on top in reverse cowgirl position, except his weight will be to the side of your torso.)

Step 2:
Have him separate your labia and retract the clitoral hood upward with the heel of the palm. Then he'll anchor the clitoris with the right thumb by holding the hood back. He should put his left hand under your butt, two fingers under each cheek, with the thumb resting on (not in) the base of the entrance to the vagina.

Step 3:
The guy should imagine he's looking directly at the clitoris from between her legs, with the top of the clitoris as 12 o’clock on a clock face. He'll then find 1 p.m.—ideally a small indentation or pocket between the hood and clitoris—with his right hand’s index finger, and begin stroking using the lightest touch possible and only 1/16" or so of movement. The tip of the finger is better than the pad, so make sure he cuts his nails beforehand.

Step 4:
Once he finds it, you probably won’t be able to take more than a very light touch. So ask him to stroke like a metronome at a constant speed for periods of two to three minutes, changing speed between periods. Have him keep this up for 15 minutes. You'll most likely start to feel intense pleasure. If the orgasm contractions are a bit too much, breathe deeply and push out slightly as if you were going to pee. (Don't worry, as long as you emptied your bladder beforehand, you won't actually pee.) This will help you extend the plateau and minimize fatigue.

Step 5:
Once the 15 minutes have elapsed, he should do something called “grounding”, which just means applying strong pressure down on the pubic bone and up toward your head, using overlapping hands. (It sort of looks like he's doing chest compressions, only on your nether regions.) Usually the strongest possible pressure the most pleasurable for ending a session.

We know, it sounds too simple to bring on a 15-minute climax. But the author himself tested it out and spoke with a number of sexperts to perfect the process. Give it a try then report back in the comments section.

7 Things You Didn't Know About Porn

As skin flicks grow increasingly ubiquitous, thanks to the ease of steamy streaming on the internet, X-rated entertainment has also become a hot research topic. Check out the shocking facts these studies uncovered.

1. Women get turned on by monkey sex
Think guys are aroused by just about anything? It's actually the other way around. Researchers from Northwestern University showed men and women videos of nude actors exercising, masturbating, or having sex. They found that men have pretty clear "targets" — straight dudes got hot looking at ladies, while gay dudes were turned on by men. It's fuzzier for chicks, though. Even if they didn't report feeling in the mood, straight women experienced physical arousal after viewing pretty much any kind of sexual stimuli — guy-on-guy porn, girl-on-girl action, and even bonobo monkeys getting frisky.
2. Utah is the perviest state
A Harvard study found that Utah had the most online porn subscriptions per every 1,000 broadband users. (The state with the lowest rate of porn subscriptions? Montana.)
3. The body part that men focus on when watching porn is the woman's — wait for it — face
You read that right: eyes and lips win out over boobs and a badonkadonk, according to an eye-tracking study from the Kinsey Institute at the University of Indiana. The researchers speculated that guys look at women's faces to gauge how turned on they are.
4. The pill affects whether you go for the money shot
More from the Kinsey Institute study: Women not on hormonal birth control (like The Pill) zoned in on people's genitals when shown a pornographic pic. But women taking The Pill were more interested in contextual elements such as the background, or what the actors are wearing. Researchers hypothesize it's because Pill-free women have a higher sex drive.
5. All — literally all — men watch it
A researcher from the University of Montreal wanted to study whether pornography has an impact on guys' sex lives. There was just one teensy problem though: To form a control group, he searched for men in their twenties who'd never consumed porn...and he couldn't find a single one.
6. Most guys get into it before puberty
The majority check out porn for the first time at age 10, according to the same University of Montreal study.
7. Presidential elections put people in the mood
Talk about dirty politics. After President Bush won the election in 2004, red states saw a jump in porn-related Internet searches. And after President Obama won in 2008, blue states went on a porn-search frenzy. Researchers from Villanova and Rutgers University believe it's because being on the winning team creates a surge of testosterone, which spikes sex drive.

Is Experimentation More Common Than Most Think?

Conventional wisdom has it that women are more likely to experiment with their sexuality, and with other women in particular, during their undergraduate years. College campuses are seen as sexual Petri dishes, where female co-eds mix a little lesbianism into their behavior to see if there's a chemical reaction.

"That phenomenon gave rise to the term LUG (lesbian until graduation)," writes Tamar Lewin in a recent New York Times piece.

But a new study from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention indicates that higher education isn't a pre-req for young ladies who want to have a same-sex experience. In fact, less than 10 percent of college-educated women said they'd had a sexual encounter with another chick — compared to 15 percent of those with no high school diploma and approximately 12.5 percent of those who'd finished high school but not college.

In other words, the less education a woman has, the more likely she is to have had an erotic experience with someone of the same sex.

What does the discrepancy between that reality and the common perception (that college campuses encourage sexual exploration) mean?

Lewin writes that Amber Hollibaugh, interim executive director of Queers for Economic Justice, a New York-based advocacy group, says: "The results of the federal survey underscored how poor, minority, and working-class lesbians had been overshadowed by the mainstream cultural image of lesbians as white professionals."

Interesting point. (Lewin interviews some people with other ideas as well.)

But here's my take: Experimentation is just a lot more common all over the country than most people think. It's not something that's just happening on college campuses, where "liberal" behavior is encouraged.

What do you all think?

Why you should buy a Fleshlight: Now Available at Studio 21 Ltd!

Are you Still debating about whether you should take the plunge and buy your very own fleshlight? here are some reasons why you should consider purchasing one.

1. It feels amazing – when you put your member inside a fleshlight you won’t even be able to tell the difference from a real pussy. It feels so good! The material they use is realistic and feels like real silky smooth skin. I like to warm up my fleshlight by soaking it in a sink filled with warm to hot water. Then it feels Really amazing! You can even buy different inserts like a Super Tight, Ribbed, or Wonder Wave etc. for different feelings and sensations.

2. Completely Safe Sex – You will never recieve or transmit a Sexually Transmitted Disease when you use a fleshlight, and you’ll never get a chick pregnant with it. The Fleshlight is satisfying, safe, and private. Unless you want to use it with someone else.

3. Have Sex On Your Terms - No more waiting until the wife gets home or waiting until she’s in the mood. The Fleshlight will be their to satisfy you whenever and wherever you feel like it. The fleshlight will fulfill your desires.

4. Feels like the Real Thing – You won’t find another male sex toy that is closer to the feeling of intercourse than using the fleshlight. They have developed a “Real Feel Super Skin® sleeve” that was designed to be the most realistic feeling….. and it is! It feels like silky smooth skin. With the Ultra Tight Fleshlight it feels like im screwing my first girlfriend, nice and tight.

5. You Can Improve your Orgasm Stamina – Whether you’ve been banging chicks for decades or just started off in the game, I bet you could still improve your stamina. See how long you can last with the various inserts. I recommend the Super Tight or Ultra Tight, then see how long you can last.

Tantric Sex

Do you ever feel as if your sex life is stuck in a rut? Before you blame yourself or your partner for your lackluster lovemaking, you might want to give tantric sex a try.

What is Tantric Sex?

"Tantra is about consciousness and awareness," says Johanina Wikoff, Ph.D., a tantra lecturer and therapist in San Francisco, CA, and author of The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Kama Sutra (Macmillan, 2000). "Rather than saying you should try different sexual positions or give up certain things, tantra says: do the things you enjoy, but do them with awareness," she explains.
"Having a deep connection with a partner can help individuals become more relaxed and have better sexual functioning," says Linda Banner, Ph.D., a sex therapist at the University of California San Francisco-Stanford Sexual Health Medicine Program. "Tantric sex is more of a holistic connection than a purely physiological one. It involves the mind, body and spirit," she adds.

How to Last Longer in Bed

If "holistic sex" sounds like a tall order, don't panic. The following tenets of tantric sex can be painlessly incorporated into your sex life.

• Make a conscious effort to engage all of the five senses during lovemaking.

• Looking into your partner's eyes during sex can make the experience more intimate and powerful.

• Try breathing in unison. A conscious, rhythmic breathing pattern can help you connect to your partner, both emotionally and spiritually.

• Don't have sex with a set goal in mind (for example, having an orgasm). Making love without a goal or an agenda will heighten the rapport between you and your partner.

• Focus your attention on your partner's sexual needs and desires, rather than on your own.

Then again, there's something to be said for sex of the "wham-bam" variety. A satisfying sex life will probably involve both types of experiences. "Learning to differentiate the times when you want to have pure, animal sex for physical pleasure versus the times when you want to have a more spiritual type of lovemaking is really critical," admits Banner.

Delaying Orgasm
Becoming familiar with some of tantric sex's key techniques doesn't just lead to more emotionally connected, even spiritual, lovemaking. It also leads to sex that's just plan hotter. One of the most publicized benefits of tantra is that it can help a guy learn how to delay his ejaculation, thus prolonging intercourse.

"When the man really learns to slow down his sexual response-and often times that doesn't happen until he starts to age-he puts himself more in synch with the woman's sexual response, which is slower," says Wikoff. "When people are making love in the same rhythm, there's a powerful connection-and that has to be learned either through age or through a practice like tantra," she adds.

"Tantric sex involves practice, over time, in a relationship of mutual devotion and trust," says James E. Salisbury, Ph.D., an international tantra master who teaches philosophy and human sexuality at Utah Valley State College in Orem, Utah. "The ability to orgasm, especially for women, is a learned skill. The ability to raise orgasm to its maximum potential for joy and ecstatic spiritual communion is, especially for men, also a learned skill," he adds.

So the next time you're having sex, become more aware of your partner, maintain eye contact, take it slowly, and don't think about anything but the present moment. After all, great sex is not only about pursuing the pleasure of orgasm; it's also about intimacy and connection.

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Get Her To Have Dirty Sex

The minds of men are frequently occupied with sexual ideas that would repulse the average woman. While this is the typical case, don’t assume that your girlfriend doesn’t have a dirty side. One of the advantages of being in a long-term relationship is the opportunity to share your sexual fantasies with each other and try them out. Unfortunately, it may be a challenge to get your girl to reveal her nasty inner thoughts.

In order to determine if the girl you’re with is open to experimenting with dirty sex, start off by testing the waters with a few questions on the more innocent end of the sexual spectrum. Try: “Have you ever tied anyone up or been tied up?” “Do you own any sex toys?” “What do you fantasize about when you masturbate?” “What is something you’ve always wanted to try?”

These questions should get her to open up and start sharing some intimate details of her sexual personality with you. Then you can lead her down the path to dirtiness and hopefully get her to have dirty sex. If she gets scared off or grossed out by these questions, you have yourself a non-kinky girl -- too bad for you.

Still, even the innocent can be corrupted. Here are our suggestions to help you get her to have dirty sex.

Tell her about your fantasies

If you get the feeling that she’ll be receptive to taking a darker turn in your sex life together, take the first step by revealing some of your secret fantasies. Dole out a little at a time and see how she reacts. Hopefully, she’ll share some of her inner thoughts in return; when she does, make sure you show plenty of enthusiasm for her ideas if you want to get her to have dirty sex. An important thing to keep in mind when having this sharing session is to keep it in the realm of fantasy. Don’t start telling her about dirty sex you’ve had in the past with other women or your whole plot will come to a screeching halt.

Make it new for both of you

Approach the dirty experimentation like it’s new for both of you. Think of something you’ve never tried before and suggest that you try it together. If she knows you’re starting out on a level playing field, she’ll be more likely to let her inhibitions go and get wild with you. If you want to get her to have dirty sex with you and you act like you’re an expert in the area, chances are she’s going to freeze up on you instead of enjoying herself.

We have three more tips to help you get her to have dirty sex with you.

Play a sex game

So you’re both open to the idea of getting dirtier in bed together. Now, how do you get started? Talking about it is a lot easier than actually introducing the nastiness into your sex life. A sex game might be just the thing to help you get started. Visit a sex shop and check out the card and board games they have for sale. These are usually aimed at couples that want to add some excitement to their love life and they should give you some ideas. Or, use your imagination and make up your own game together at home. The idea is to get both of you to open up and start trying things out. If all else fails, you can always fall back on the old standard of Truth or Dare.

Watch porn or read erotic stories

Get each other in the mood by watching porn stars get it on or by reading some stimulating erotic fiction. Even if she’s not normally into watching porn, when you’re trying to get dirty with each other, she may be open to incorporating a video or two. Erotic writing of a less-than-professional caliber can be found all over the internet, but there are also quality sexy stories available from people with actual skill. Take a trip to the bookstore together and pick out something that looks promising.

Initiate

You are probably going to have to be the one to make the first move if you want to get a little nastier in the bedroom. Even if you’ve piqued her interest, she’s still not likely to start things off herself. Start talking dirty, set the mood and hopefully she’ll follow your lead.

she may surprise you

For most women, revealing their private, filthy thoughts may be difficult, let alone actually acting on them with you. Once you get her comfortable talking about it, disclose some of your own secrets ideas, gather some inspiration and try new things. You may be surprised to find out that your girl is more of a freak in bed than you would’ve guessed.

6 Tips For The Sex Shop Trip

If you are interested in buying sex toys, condoms, bondage material, lingerie, lube, porn or anything else that may serve to change your sex life, but you aren't confident about shopping online just yet, then a sex shop is where you want to be.

If you have never been inside a sex shop, then you may have visions of S&M, scantily-clad women or even filth and grime. You couldn't be more wrong. Sex shops look like any other store, except that the products they sell happen to revolve solely around sex.

So if you're ready to head on down to a shop to do some browsing, and perhaps even make a purchase, here are some suggestions you may want to consider first.

1- Browse sex toys online beforehand

It is advisable to do some research at a virtual store before you head to a real shop. Check out what sex toys that the online shops have to offer and, when you find what you like, make a note of the product name and the manufacturer. Then head on down to the shop and make your purchase.

This way, you won't have to wander around aimlessly and you will have an idea of what to expect at a real sex shop.

2- Go with a girlfriend

Whether it's your girlfriend or just a friend (although a girlfriend is preferable), a woman may help you feel more comfortable in this environment as you'll have someone to communicate with about the different products.

3- Don't pass judgment

When you walk into the shop and the salesperson says, "Hi," reciprocate the greeting. This isn't a covert operation; there's a demand for these shops, otherwise they wouldn't exist.

As well, don't pass judgment on other shoppers; they may be newcomers or veterans, but regardless, a sex shop client is not a whore or a gigolo. And neither are you. But even if you were, people wouldn't know it just because you're at a sex shop.

Consult the help, act natural and, of course, shop when the place is empty.

4- Consult a salesperson

The people who work at sex shops are familiar with all the products in the store, so don't be shy -- ask for help. Sex toys can get expensive, so you should be well-informed before you make any purchase; I'm pretty sure there's a no-return policy.
And if you don't understand the purpose of a certain item, again, feel free to ask.

5- Act natural

If you think something is comical, it's OK to show it. The first time that I went to a sex shop, I laughed a whole lot, but I did so discreetly. Don't worry; the salespeople are used to it. Even if you think you've seen everything, you haven't. Nothing is shameful.

6- Head there when it's empty

While there is no guarantee that there won't be anyone there at any given time, weekends and evenings will usually reap more clients than, say, early Tuesday morning. If you're painfully shy about going to a sex shop for the first time, try heading there on a weekday so that you can fully understand how the establishment works.

shop till you flop

Sometimes a new outlook on sex can make your bedroom experience that much better, and where better to search for that outlook than at a sex shop? Even if you don't want to buy anything, heading there with your girl could serve to give you new ideas.

Until next time, try to find what you're looking for.