Everyone makes mistakes...

We ARE only human,
these are just some mistakes that BOTH men & women

make about their partner...

 

Sex Mistake No.1: You Know What He/She Wants

We often make assumptions about what our partner wants based upon what they've done with other partners. Like a snowflake, no 2 people are the same, we're all different.

You develop a routine as we mature sexually, but we should never assume that what worked for the last person is going to work for this person.

This also applies not only to sexual preferences, but also to relationships,

There are people who can have 'no-strings-attached' sex, and there are people who can get attached very easily, and then everyone in between.

 

Sex Mistake No. 2: You Have All Your Partner Needs

Some women can't have an orgasm with less than 3,000 rpm. No human tongue or fingers can generate that kind of vibration. Some men, need a little something extra to orgasm too! People typically think something is wrong if someone needs a vibrator.

If the only way that a woman/man can achieve orgasm is with a vibrator, they're not broken.

Think of a vibrator as your assistant, not your substitute. Many couples use vibrators together. While you're doing one thing, or two things, the vibrator can be doing something else.
Some couple friendly vibrators, a vibrating cock ring

and when you want to graduate to the big leagues

The We-Vibe II, the couple's vibrator that can be worn while having sex, it won best toy 2 years in a row, and it's still listed as a must have even after coming out years ago!
It's made with medical grade silicone, water proof,
and re-chargeable!

Sex Mistake No. 3: Sex Feels the Same for Men and Women

There tends to be a "huge disconnect" between men and women in the ways that sex feels good.

When a man has intercourse with a woman, and his penis goes into her body, that sensation is so off the charts for most men, they cannot imagine that it isn't feeling the same way for her.
It couldn't be further from the truth.

The inside of the vagina is probably less sensitive than the outer parts for most women.
Also, deep thrusting may not feel so nice on the receiving end for one person to the next.
If the penis is too long, some women may feel like they're getting punched in the stomach.

There are some cock rings out that can act like a 'stopper' for longer penis'.

Not only is this support ring helping with keeping an erection, but depending on where it's placed, can prevent the penis from going in any further.

Sex Mistake No. 4: You Know Your Way Around Your Partner's Anatomy

Most guys know generally what a clitoris is and where to find it.

That's not to say that they really understand it.

More than 30 years ago, at the start of the "sexual revolution," a best-selling book called the Joy of Sex got Americans hip to the orgasmic importance of the clitoris.

But the belief that women must be able to orgasm from ONLY vaginal penetration stubbornly persists.

Outside media such as movies & TV shows don't help the matter.

Now some men STILL think that if their partner can't orgasm from intercourse unless she has clitoral stimulation, that there is a problem.

No it's not a problem, it's perfectly normal.

For the majority of women, an orgasm isn't going to happen with only penetration. 

Men also lack information about how to touch the clitoris and how sensitive it is.

A touch that's bliss for one woman may feel like nothing special to another,

or may even be painful for someone else.

Some prefer indirect stimulation.

How can you find out how she likes to be touched?

This also applies to men, one man may feel fine with a finger up their butt while others want nothing up their butt. The area outside the butt, the perineum is outside of the prostate and a gentle massage of this area may feel great for one guy

and nothing special for the next guy.

The best way to handle something you don't know is to ask or ask while touching your partner,

"How does this feel?".

 

Sex Mistake No. 5: Wet = Turned On

Guys sometimes get hung up if a woman doesn't get slippery enough for easy penetration.

Don't worry about it.

There's a myth that if you're turned on, you're wet,  not necessarily.

Some women tend to get wetter than others, and how much natural lubrication a woman has can change from day to day. It varies by the phase of her menstrual cycle, and it's subject to influences like stress, pre-menopausal and medications.

This is an easy fix, lube

or saliva from performing oral on your partner.

 

Sex Mistake No. 6: Silence Is Golden

A lot of guys think they should be silent during sex, but unless you speak up, your partner has to guess what's doing it for you and what isn't.

If you're respectful about it, a woman who wants to please you will probably appreciate some directions.

We're not saying push her head in your lap, rather 'This is how I like it' or  a simple 'Faster', 'Slower', 'Harder', is a very useful conversation to have.

Happy Friday!

Anal 101

Before you let your loved one go, where no man or woman has gone before for you...

here are some 1st timer tips and advice.

1. First and foremost,
one must NEVER feel pressured into anal sex, if you feel hesitation about it, then don't do it.
Wait til you look into it more, read about it, do your research.
Once you have done your research and are ready and relaxed then proceed with caution.

2. Always practice safe sex by having your partner wear a condom.
The rectum is filled with bacteria and has sensitive tissue that can tear and without a condom, you put yourself at risk for infections and STD's.

3.  The tissue in the rectum is very sensitive and has many nerve endings & blood vessels.
There are 2 retracting  muscles that are called sphincters.
The external sphincter can be retracted voluntarily, while the internal sphincter is involuntary, especially when you're tense or nervous the internal sphincter won't retract and may not be as easily accessible. In this occasion, practice really does make perfect!

Try practicing with a slim anal plug,

by working the external sphincter, it is possible to provoke a reflex reaction of the internal sphincter. A tense self means a clenched butt & it won't be as enjoyable.

4. LUBE, LUBE, & MORE LUBE!

 The anal cavity doesn't produce it's own lubricant, so a great quality lubricant make a huge difference, if there isn't any anal toys involved, a slick silicone lubricant is highly recommended, so re-application isn't needed.

However, if there is anal toys involved,

a water based lubricant is recommended, but re-application may be needed.

5. Anal sex should NOT hurt, not even a little, if it does, it's your body saying for you to stop.

If you insist on getting a numbing agent to not feel anything, such as

Anal Blu, is a lubricant & a numbing agent.

For 1st timers this isn't a great idea to use, simply because, if you're numb,

how can you feel if there is any discomfort?

Pain, is the body's natural indicator of something going wrong.

There are products that help relax the internal sphincter muscle, such as

Intimate Organics Adventure & Daring.

These require to applied about 5 to 10 minutes before.

6. Grooming and Cleanliness...

Grooming, if you feel comfortable with, shaving or waxing, it's a preference.
Some may say that removing the hair in the area helps with any hair being pulled during anal sex. 

Cleanliness, as far as in the anal cavity, varies from person to person, and there are many factors that can play a part into this, your regular diet, how your bowel movements are, and if you're a healthy person, overall, you have a pretty clean butt!

If you wanted to go further in the extreme clean, there are anal douches or enemas, which consist of just warm water to flush out the fecal matter that may be there.

7. Now with the right person, and proceeding at your desired speed, have fun!

Despite there being many taboos with anal sex,

 anal sex isn't for everyone, but when done right, it can be very exciting AND enjoyable for both

men & women!

Hot Summer, Hotter Nights...

With all the hot weather, there is bound to be frisky activity under water...
here are just some useful tips to think about on these hot & steamy nights!

1. Underwater Sex

When getting it on underwater, your own natural lubrication washes away and that increases the chance of getting tiny tears in your vagina as the thrusting motion goes on.

Having vaginal abrasions makes you vulnerable to getting infections as well as STD's.
Using a condom under water isn't in your best interest, chlorine + the friction
from a lack of lubrication can cause the latex to break.
With out a condom, there's a chance for pregnancy & STD's.
With the condom breaking AND then vaginal tears = not a sexy time.

Your best bet is to use a silicone lubricant, such as Wet Platinum

 a little bit of a silicone lube applied prior to entering the water
is going to eliminate the lack of your own body's secretions
and most silicone lubricants are latex safe.
Silicone has a very similar consistency to oil.
Oil and water doesn't mix, and oil doesn't dry out.

2. Sex on the Beach
Yes, it's romantic and it's a sexy scene in 'From Here to Eternity',

but anyone who has literally had sex on the beach, will say it's not all that great.
The sand in all sorts of places where it shouldn't be, is not only uncomfortable, but just unsanitary!
Sand is basically tiny microscopic rocks & minerals, and sand has a ton of bacteria and feces in it too. So needless to say having sex on the sand itself, isn't safe, but a large blanket type towel underneath you and your partner is the safest way to live out your sexy fantasy.
Leaving your hands to just above the waste fondling, just to be absolutely sure that no sand gets on, or in, your privates.

3. Hot Tub Sex

If it's your hot tub, GO FOR IT!
Don't forget the silicone lubricant!
If it's a public hot tub, I would put the brakes on that idea.
Foot fungi and folliculitis, (inflammation around one or more hair follicles) can be picked up in public hot tubs, the hot temperature of the tub makes it easier for germs to stay alive.
If you insist on hot tubs, try to observe that not too many strangers are hopping in and out of the hot tub. Shower right after the hot tub, maybe even take your romp to the shower instead of the hot tub.

As long as you stay informed and approach with caution,
have a ton of safe & exciting sex!

Making Fireworks Every Other Day...

In the United States, we tend to celebrate out country's birthday with fireworks,

 but how can one individual make fireworks year round in their bedroom?

There is one common problem that has been plaguing the nation...

* There isn't enough lubrication in your sexy romp.*

This is actually a common problem and isn't only because one gets older,
this happens to younger women too.

There are a couple of reasons for not being lubed up enough,
pre-menopausal, stress, low-estrogen birth control pills,
undiagnosed yeast infections, breastfeeding, and certain medications,
such as anti-depressants & antihistamines, can dry you out.

There is a couple of ways to tackle the problem.

1. Ask For MORE Foreplay

i.e. oral sex from him, more hand stimulation on your clitoris and clitoral hood, or stimulation on your key spots that make you weak in the knees! Just starting on foreplay, and not taking more time on it, results in, most women, rushing too quickly into intercourse and then the session is not as enjoyable as it could have been.You could end up sore and at risk for a yeast infection.

2. Look for a lubricant that is best for you.

If you already know that you are very prone to getting yeast infections,
consult your gynecologist into one that works best,
one that is commonly suggested is Sliquid,

 an organic, paraben & glycerine free, latex friendly, 100% vegan is a great choice.

If you have no known allergies & don't have a sensitive vagina,

Wet Synergy Water + Silicone 

is a fabulous hybrid formula that gives you the benefits of both water and silicone lubricants!

The universal lubricant starts out as gel then thins out to a silky non-sticky feel. A little dab of this lubricant goes a long way.

If you're are intending to make your 1+1= Baby, most doctors say that lubricants and saliva actually kill sperm and/or slow them down. There are some lubricant's out on the market that don't harm his little guys

Pre-Seed is one that claims to actually help his little guys swim!

Now if you & your partner prefer a very light formula of lubricant,
one that will, quicker than regular ones, dry out
so that your own natural secretions take over the job. 

Wet Light Water Based Lubricant is a great choice 

it has a higher water content than most lubricant and less glycerine.

For those looking for a lubricant that can help 

with over all well-being and is certified organic,

Intimate Organics Defense

would be a fabulous selection.

Defense is a 'protection' lubricant containing both 

Caarrageean (Sea Kelp) and Guava Bark Anti-Bacterial extract. 

Studies show carrageenan inhibits the infectious ability of viruses 

that cause cervical cancer and genital warts. 

Guava Bark has been used as a douche to treat and prevent yeast infections. 

It claims to provide natural safety and protection in a light, long lasting lubricant.

An important note to always remember, 

any and all suggestions for lubricants, 

if any irritation occurs discontinue use immediately.

Choosing a lubricant isn't a 'one size fits all' situation, 

so always choose carefully.

Have a safe & fun weekend! 



A Naughty Adult 'Operation'...

Do you remember playing Operation

 and trying not to touch the sides to not get zapped, now think of that naked guy laying there now...
what are those spots on him that you want him to get zapped!

Here's some helpful tips to let the zapping begin!

Think of the shaft of his penis as the outer curve of your breast...

 Imagine when he grazes your breast and it sends goosebumps all over and the electricity it sends all over your body,

* Light grazes that you give to his shaft can also be followed by a slight aggressive stroke.

* Teasingly lick the sides of his shaft like a popsicle. Making some eye contact while doing it is quite naughty, the visual alone should get him hot & heavy.

*Lie on top of your guy and place his penis in between your breasts, as you rub up and down when the penis come close to your mouth, give a lick. Breasts + feeling his penis between them = HOT DAMN!

*Your preference here...either take a drop of your favorite flavored lubricant or lick your palms, grip his penis with one hand over the other, and twist in opposite directions creating lots of feel good friction.

Think of his testicles like your nipples...

Your nipples get bigger & darker when you are turned on, so does his testicles. A woman's nipples enlarge because they are engorged with blood when she is aroused. A man's scrotal sac fills with blood and becomes more sensitive.

*As you kiss him, slide your hand down to his testicles and just cradle them, the warmth of your hand is a new sensation.

*Gently pull the skin away from his testicles with your fore finger & thumb. The skin is less sensitive then the testicles themselves, so start out lightly massaging the skin then apply a bit more pressure.

*Rub the flats of your nails, (hopefully you don't have hangnails and/or rough cuticles) not the edges of your nails, against his scrotum. The flat side of your nails are harder, smoother, and cooler than your fingertips.

*Take one testicle at a time in your mouth and gently suck. This is a whole different ball game from the palm of your hand.

*When you're on top of him and feel him getting closer to climax, reach around to his testicles and give a gentle tug. Pulling them away from his body causes the nerve endings to be exposed, thus making his orgasm more intense.

 Think of the base of his penis like your pubic mound...

When a guy takes a break from stroking your clitoris and rubs your pubic mound

(the round fleshy area just above your clitoris) is a treat.

The sensation in that area is caused by blood rushing there when you're turned on, but it's also because it stimulates your clitoral hood(the fold of your skin that surrounds and protects your clitoral glans). The base of his penis connects his shaft to his body, but it doesnt have as many nerve endings as the head of his penis, but because blood in that area is brought there when he's aroused, it's a super-erongenous zone. It can handle both gentle squeezes & rougher ones.
* Make a circle with your index finger & thumb, like an 'ok' sign, and place at the base of his penis while he's inside you. This a sort of cock-ring effect, keeping the blood where you want it and making him last longer.
*Firmly hold the bottom of his shaft in one hand and slowly push it toward the base (imagine you're pushing his penis into his body), then pull it back lightly. Since it's all connected, it'll shoot a tingly sensation from the base to the head of his penis and back.
Now try not to do a hard jerking motion, we don't want to break the guy!
*Make the tip of your tongue into a firm point, and trail it around the base. Since you usually focus on the top three-quarters of his package, he'll be surprised and aroused!
*With a flat, soft tongue, lick all the way around the base of his penis three or four times, and then take your mouth away from his penis. Pause , and repeat. The move will feel awesome, and teh waiting will excite him more.
*Post orgasm, massage the base of his penis lightly-use one fingertip, and move it in small circles. His balls and head and shaft are too sensitive to be touched right after he's climaxed, but he'll love gentle attention here.

Think of the head of his penis like your clitoris...
As you know the clitoris is jammed pack with nerve endings & so is teh tip of his penis, although his glans can take a bit more pressure than your clitoris-the nerves are just spread over a larger area-it's still very sensitive. With that said the areas need to be stimulated carefully. Caress with caution, start out with just the tip and then the entire head. If you spend too much time at the tip & are too rough too soon, he may become over stimulated, and that can be really painful for him. To keep that from happening, switch up your tactics. Don't stick with one for more than 10 seconds or so. Choose a few of these:
* Like it feels erotic when he toches you through your panties, so grope him through his pants or underwear by tracing the sides of his penis with your finger tips.
*Grip his shaft loosely with one hand, then open your mouth, hover right over the head of his penis, and breath slowly and heavily. The sexy heat will literally warm him up and send tingles from his tip to his base.
*Guide his penis into your mouth at an angle, so it hits the inside of your cheek. The skin is smooth and soft there, so it feels awesome against him.
Stay clear of any teeth, you wouldn't want any bites on your clitoris would you...OUCH!
*Cover the head and upper shaft of his penis with your mouth, and suckon the tip like you're slurping a shake through a straw, heavier-than-usual suction.
* When you're straddling him, stop and raise your hips so only his tip is still inside you. Squeeze your vagina like you're doing your Kegel excercises. He'll love the intense pleasure!

Think of his perineum like your G-spot...
It's a small spongy area located 2 inches up the front wall of your vagina that gives you one of those super-deep, way intense orgasms. A guy's perinium, the patch of skin between his anus and testicles, is a very similar producer of body-rocking inner pleasure. The perinium has nerves that run straight to a mans prostate, which is basically the male g-spot. It is packed with nerves that magnify his pleasure and is deep inside his body to touch directly, unless he's given you the green light for that.
* As you're stroking his shaft with one hand, reach down and massage his perinium with the pad of your thumb-roll it from one side to the other, almost like you're giving a fingerprint.
* Dart your tongue in and out like a snake, flicking it quickly against his perinium. Tha fast movements will get him super hyped.
* Use the knuckle of your pointer finger to press against it firmly as you give him oral. It's best to use this move if you're ready for him to finish, since the combo of oral and perinium contact is sure to speed things up.
* Press your lips together like you're about to plant one on him, then place them directly over his perinium and suck. The suction brings more blood to the area, encouraging it and making him shiver.
* When he's in missionary and about to finish, reach down and push the spot-just like you would a button-to make his finale even more explosive!

Have fun this weekend and try a trick or two...or more!

Remember when...

Kissing was such a big experience when we were adolescents and teenagers. A kiss had so much more feeling tied to it, it was something new! 

Hopefully, with a great kisser, you felt an explosion, fireworks, sparks! You felt a lightness and like there was no one else, just the two of you.

This makes one wonder, 'When was your last great make-out session?'

Now as an adult, in a serious relationship, engaged, married, with kids, or none...while leading busy lives, we let the kissing fall to the waist side. We let life come in with all it's responsibilities and forgot the simple intimacy of kissing. Yes, now we don't have to worry about mom & dad walking in, and now it, almost always, leads to sex.

How about making that make out session a little longer with a few new tricks that you may have not tried before.

1. Make sure you have a fresh breath, something as simple as having water or iced tea, in place of a cup of coffee can make a tweak in your breath. There is always mints and chewing gum as well. If your partner isn't so fresh at the moment, have a mint in your mouth and pass it to your partner.

2. Put a Chapstick in your pocket, if you're prone to chapped lips, licking them will only make it worse.

3. First, start with flirting with your partner's lips in light, teasing, licking kisses. Lightly put the tip of your tongue into their mouth, quickly pulling it back out, then slides it in again like you're playing hide-and-seek with your partner in their mouth. Then tease their lips again and lightly suck each one. Then moves the tip of your tongue in circles just inside their lips.

4. Your hands can grace their face, gently graze their arms, the small of their back, let's save the groping til a little bit later, if you can hold out!

5. Now move the kissing else wear, their neck, for men & women, this is a big erogenous zone.
The small area of where the earlobe meets the neck, gently with the tip of your tongue, graze their earlobe, sucking on the earlobe, and continue kissing their neck.

5. If you've held out this long, then explore the rest of their erogenous zones, finger tips, arms, chest, navel and voilà...you're on your way south! The inside of the thighs can be great, if they're not too ticklish.
This can be a perfect segued into performing oral on your partner.

Just in time for Father's Day...

How about for Father's Day, instead of a tie, #1 Dad mug or desk ornament...

you give him an extended male orgasm!

Besides giving him naughty talk and tingling foreplay, here are 5 moves to try out to send him over the edge...

1. Let him enter you, but stop him so that just the tip is in your vagina. Then squeeze your PC muscles(the ones that stop urine midflow) around the head several times before letting the rest of his penis inside.

2. Get in girl-on-top and rub your vulva against his pubic area-the spot just above his penis. That way, his penis is only moving slightly inside you instead of going all the way in and out, so he's getting less of that orgasm-inducing friction. It'll keep him in a pleasurable limbo (and feel great for you too!)

3. When changing positions, such as girl-on-top to doggie-style, move away from him to a new spot on the bed and touch yourself, so he gets a tantalizing show before he can enter you again.

4. As he's getting close, lightly tug his balls down-it can delay his orgasm. If you want to speed him up, cup his balls and push them up toward his penis.

5. Repeatedly press his perineum (the spot between hiss balls and his butt). Hold pressure there with your thumb, or rub it in circles with your fingers. It's like a start/stop button for his climax-touch him there to speed him up, then release to slow him back down.

That should be a nice & naughty surprise, as well as making this Father's Day one to remember!

WILD SEX MOVES

“Most women have incredible untapped sexual potential and embarking on an erotic challenge can help you realise what you're capable of,” explains Dr Gloria Brame, author of Come Hither: A Commonsense Guide To Kinky Sex. “Daring yourself to try new techniques and positions – especially when you're in a long-term relationship where sex can become predictable – keeps things fresh and forces you to expand your repertoire.” The result? A whole new level of intimacy.

FEEL SUPER-SEXY IN YOUR SKIN
Electrify your erogenous zones and boost your naked body confidence by performing a post shower towel tease.

Do-it directions: While the bathroom's steamy, ask your partner to come in. Then begin to dry off, rubbing the towel across your breasts, back and butt, revealing one body part while concealing another. Look in the mirror and keep an eye on his face. Then ask him to rub your skin with baby oil.

Passion payoff: You can ease into being bare in front of him. “Most couples don't take the time to get comfortable with each other naked unless the lights are off,” says Lou Paget, author of The Big O. Here, you can play exhibitionist and explore your sensual side.” And by seeing him watching you in the mirror, you'll be able to see what he does: a woman he can't resist

HAVE SOLO SEX WITH AN AUDIENCE
Show him your masturbation moves first-hand: he'll get to see how you touch yourself and why it turns you on.

Do-it directions: As your boyfriend reaches for your nether region, gently push his hand away and ask if he'd like to watch you do it instead. “Whisper something like, 'Want to see what I do when you're not around?'” suggests Brame. When he nods (and he will!), part your legs slightly, stroke your breasts and belly, then move your hand down your body. As you begin to touch yourself, open your legs wider so he gets a more explicit view. Bonus: place his hand over yours, then pull yours away so you can climax via his moves alone.

Passion payoff: A slam-dunk orgasm, plus a grateful guy who now knows how to push your pleasure buttons. “Men are incredibly visual and crave erotic instruction,” says Brame. Another bedroom benefit: treating him to such an intimate display will bring you closer by opening the lines of carnal communication. Once you grant him a front-row view, he'll be ready to show you how he likes to be manhandled.

GIVE UP CARNAL CONTROL
Putting him in charge of all the dirty details means you can completely surrender to your new-found pleasure.

Do-it directions: Straddle your partner while he's on his back and stretch his arms over his head. Pretend to pin him to the bed, then smile and say, “This is what I'd like you to do to me.” He can hold or tie your wrists, while you lie back and be ravished.

Passion payoff: Giving up control allows you to focus on your own gratification. So while your partner gets to work, you're able to relax and relish the sensations of his every kiss, touch and lick. “With your hands secured, you can't cover up a body part you're shy about and you can't hold back when sensations become overwhelming,” says Brame. “And being 'helpless' allows you to concentrate on how good your body feels, so orgasms are easier to come by.”

TRY THIS SEX-POSITION SPIN
The Swivel is a position for the lovemaker who craves sensual stimulation and doesn't like to stay still in bed.

Do-it directions: Assume the on-top position, facing him as he lies on his back. While squeezing his penis, lift your leg over his body and swivel around, never letting him slip out of you. Squeeze three to five times, keeping close to his base. Then turn again so you're facing his feet. Move in small circles rather than up and down and swivel around until you're back at the start. “Three 360-degree turns is respectable,” says Tracey Cox, author of Supersex. “Five is Olympian!”

Passion payoff: The corkscrew-like motion will bring him to the brink. Then, give him time to catch his breath while you pause to rotate again. It'll also gaunt him a revolving view of your body. “Plus, when you're on top, his penis rubs the sensitive front wall of your vagina, grazing your G-spot for an extra-intense orgasm,” says Cox.

MAGNIFY YOUR TOUCH
Ever notice when one of your senses is blocked, the others get stronger? The same thing happens during sex.

Do-it directions: Lead your partner into the bedroom. Take off your clothes, then blindfold each other – covering your ears too – and agree to be silent for an erotic encounter. “Communicate with gestures – the pressure of a hand, arch of a back, or stiffening of a nipple,” advises Cox.

Passion payoff: Removing sight and sound magnifies the experience, says Cox. “With just touch to guide you, you're forced to use your hands and mouth all over your bodies, awakening erogenous zones you may not have been aware of,” she adds. Since you can't see each other, you're compelled to find new ways to wow your partner. Perhaps, some of those moves will even become staples of your pleasure list.

MAKE A FANTASY A HOT REALITY
Don't restrict naughty thoughts to your mind. Let 'em loose in the bedroom.

Do-it directions: Write out a searing scenario, something you've had daydreams about, but have never acted on. Then, while on the couch, or in bed, make your move. “Ask him suggestively, 'Want to hear my story?'” suggests Paget. Get him to test-drive your script by stroking his ego. “Tell him you've been thinking about it and want to share it with him,” she adds.

Passion payoff: Whether you want to be spanked, or pretend you're having a one-night stand, turning your daydream into reality adds excitement. “It heightens your sense of experimentation,” explains Paget. Revealing your sexual wish list opens up erotic discourse and can free you from your inhibitions. Even better, it may prompt your boyfriend to divulge his own desires.

TAKE EACH OTHER OVER THE EDGE
Double erotic enjoyment by turning 69 on it's side. This intimate style is easy for both of you to do at the same time.

Do-it directions: Lie on your sides, facing each other in opposite directions – your head near his crotch. Bend your top leg, resting your foot on your opposite knees. Have him do the same so your thighs are both open in a triangle. Now lean in and bring your mouths to each other's bodies.

Passion payoff: No other position offers such oral and visual satisfaction while placing little strain on your back and neck, says Cox. “You can please each other simultaneously, or one at a time – you don't have to change positions and ruin the mood,” she adds. If you want to take a break, just pull back and rest your head on his leg. This way, your bodies are still close.

SUPER-SIZE YOUR ORGASM
Up multiple-orgasm potential by going for at least on big O during foreplay, then another (and another, even another) during the full-on lovemaking.

Do-it directions: “Put his climax on hold and get him to switch the ways he plays with you – like gliding his fingertip along your inner leg or massaging you in circles with his tongue,” advises Cox. Once you've had your first orgasm, move onto doggy style or woman on top. Both allow him to touch your hot spot while providing deep G-spot stimulation. If he's racing towards the finish line before you're ready, gently tug on his testicles to slow him down.

Passion payoff: A chain reaction of orgasms for you and a slower, yet explosive peak for him. Tip: the more you practise teaching your body to climax, the easier it'll get and the more you'll crave sex, says Cox. Plus, watching you hit ecstatic heights is his ultimate turn-on.

Aphrodisiac Foods

Aphrodisiacs were first sought out as a remedy for various sexual anxieties including fears of inadequate performance as well as a need to increase fertility.

Aphrodisiacs were first sought out as a remedy for various sexual anxieties including fears of inadequate performance as well as a need to increase fertility.  Procreation was an important moral and religious issue and aphrodisiacs were sought to insure both male and female potency.  

Why Certain Foods?

In ancient times a distinction was made between a substance that increased fertility versus one that simply increased sex drive.  One of the key issues in early times was nutrition. Food was not so readily available as it is today. Undernourishment creates a loss of libido as well as reduces fertility rates.   Substances that "by nature" represent "seed or semen" such as bulbs, eggs, snails" were considered inherently to have sexual powers. Other types of foods were considered stimulating by their "physical resemblance to genitalia"

It's important to realize these food substances were identified (documented) by the likes of Pliny and Dioscordes (ancient Greeks) first century AD and later by Paul of Aegina from the seventh century.  Later more credence was given to foods that "satisfied dietary gratification". 

Other foods deemed to have these aphrodisiac qualities were derived from mythology.   Aphrodite, the love goddess was said to consider "sparrows" sacred because of their "amorous nature" and for that reason were included in various aphrodisiac brews. 

There was not always agreement upon what foods were actually aphrodisiacs or "anaphrodisiacs" (decrease potency).   But the ancient list included Anise, basil, carrot, salvia, gladiolus root, orchid bulbs, pistachio nuts, rocket (arugula), sage, sea fennel, turnips, skink flesh (a type of lizard) and river snails.

The ancients suggested you steer clear of dill, lentil, lettuce, watercress, rue, and water lily.

Aphrodisiac Foods List

• Almond

A symbol of fertility throughout the ages. The aroma is thought to induce passion in a female. Try serving Marzipan (almond paste) in the shapes of fruits for a special after-dinner treat.

• Aniseed

A very popular aphrodisiac with many culinary uses. It has been used as an aphrodisiac since the Greeks and the Romans, who believed aniseed had special powers. Sucking on the seeds is said to increases your desire.

• Arugula

Arugula or "rocket" seed has been documented as an aphrodisiac since the first century A.D.  This ingredient was added to grated orchid bulbs and parsnips and also combined with pine nuts and pistachios. Arugula greens are frequently used in salads and pasta.

• Asafetida

Any Indian dried, powedered herb used as a sexual stimulant in Ayurvedic medicine.  The herb has a very strong, garlicy flavor.

• Asparagus

Given it's phallic shape, asparagus is frequently enjoyed as an aphrodisiac food.   Feed your lover boiled or steamed spears for a sensuous experience. The Vegetarian Society suggests "eating asparagus for three days for the most powerful affect".

• Avocado

The Aztecs called the avocado tree "Ahuacuatl which translated means "testicle tree". The ancients thought the fruit hanging in pairs on the tree resembled the male's testicles. This is a delicious fruit with a sensuous texture. Serve in slices with a small amount of Balsamic vinegar and freshly ground pepper.

• Bananas

The banana flower has a marvelous phallic shape and is partially responsible for popularity of the banana as an aphrodisiac food. An Islamic myth tells the tale that after Adam and Eve succumbed to the "Apple" they started covering their "nudity" with banana leaves rather than fig. From a more practical standpoint bananas are rich in potassium and B vitamins, necessities for sex hormone production.

• Basil (sweet basil)

Is said to stimulate the sex drive and boost fertility. It is also said to produce a general sense of well being for body and mind.

• Broccoli Rabe (And Other Mustard Greens)

The ground seeds of various plants in the brassica family were believed to increase virility. In the case of broccoli rabe its more likely a myth created to get people to eat this bitter vegetable.

• Chocolate

The Aztecs referred to chocolate "nourishment of the Gods". Chocolate contains chemicals thought to effect neurotransmitters in the brain and a related substance to caffeine called theobromine. Chocolate contains more antioxidant (cancer preventing enzymes) than does red wine.  The secret for passion is to combine the two.  Try a glass of Cabernet with a bit of dark chocolate for a sensuous treat or let us temp you with our recipe for Chocolate Espresso Pots de creme.

• Carrots

Another good reason to eat carrots--believed to be a stimulant to the male. The phallus shaped carrot has been associated with stimulation since ancient times and was used by early Middle Eastern royalty to aid seduction. High vitamins and beta-carotene. Perhaps a justification for a piece of carrot cake?

• Coffee

Caffeine is a well-know stimulant but remember, too much and it becomes a depressant.   Serve small amounts of rich dark coffee in special little demitasse cups.   Coffee stimulates both the body and the mind so partake of a little in preparation for an "all-nighter".

• Coriander (Cilantro seed)

The book of The Arabian nights tells a tale of a merchant who had been childless for 40 years and but was cured by a concoction that included coriander. That book is over 1000 years old so the history of coriander as an aphrodisiac dates back far into history. Cilantro was also know to be used as an "appetite" stimulant.

• Fennel

In the 1930's fennel was found to be a source of natural plant estrogens. Use of fennel as an aphrodisiac dates back to the Egyptian times where it was used as "libido enhancement".

• Figs

An open fig is thought to emulate the female sex organs and traditionally thought of as sexual stimulant. A man breaking open a fig and eating it in front of his lover is a powerful erotic act. Serve fresh Black Mission figs in a cool bowl of water as it is done in Italy and be sure to eat with your fingers!

• Garlic

The 'heat' in garlic is said to stir sexual desires. Make sure you and your partner share it together. Garlic has been used for centuries to cure everything from the common cold to heart ailments. This is a good time for moderation. Enjoy a pasta with a lightly garlicky sauce and it and lead up to something spicy in the bedroom later.

• Ginger

Ginger root raw, cooked or crystallized is a stimulant to the circulatory system. Perhaps a stir-fry with freshly grated ginger can stir something spicy up in the bedroom later.

• Honey

Many medicines in Egyptian times were based on honey including cures for sterility and impotence. Medieval seducers plied their partners with Mead, a fermented drink made from honey. Lovers on their "Honeymoon" drank mead and it was thought to "sweeten" the marriage.

• Liquorice (licorice)

The Chinese have used licorice for medicinal purposes since ancient times. The essence of the Glycyrrhiza glabra (licorice) plan, glycrrhizin, is 50 time sweeter than sugar. Chewing on bits of licorice root is said to enhance love and lust. It is particularly stimulating to woman.

• Mustard

Believed to stimulate the sexual glands and increase desire. Prepare a tenderloin roast (filet mignon) for two with a mustard and peppercorn sauce.

• Nutmeg

Nutmeg was highly prized by Chinese women as an aphrodisiac. In quantity nutmeg can produce a hallucinogenic effect. A light sprinkling of the spice in a warm pumpkin soup can help spice up your evening.

• Oysters

Oysters were documented as a aphrodisiac food by the Romans in the second century A.D as mentioned in a satire by Juvenal. He described the wanton ways of women after ingesting wine and eating "giant oysters". An additional hypotheses is that the oyster resembles the "female" genitals. In reality oysters are a very nutritious and high in protein.

• Pine Nuts

Zinc is a key mineral necessary to maintain male potency and pine nuts are rich in zinc. Pine nuts have been used to stimulate the libido as far back as Medieval times. Serve pine nut cookies with a dark espresso for a stimulating dessert.

• Pineapple

Rich in vitamin C and and is used in the homeopathic treatment for impotence. Add a spear to a sweet Rum drink for a tasty prelude to an evening of passion.

• Raspberries and Strawberries

Perfect foods for hand feeding your lover. "Both invite love and are described in erotic literature as fruit nipples" Both are high in vitamin C and make a sweet light dessert.

• Truffles

The Greeks and the Romans considered the rare Truffle to be an aphrodisiac. The musky scent is said to stimulate and sensitize the skin to touch.

• Vanilla

The scent and flavor of vanilla is believed to increase lust. According to the Australian Orchid Society, "Old Totonac lore has it that Xanat, the young daughter of the Mexican fertility goddess, loved a Totonac youth. Unable to marry him due to her divine nature, she transformed herself into a plant that would provide pleasure and happiness." Fill tall Champagne glasses to the rim and add a vanilla bean for a heady, bubbly treat.

• Wine

A glass or two of wine can greatly enhance a romantic interlude. Wine relaxes and helps to stimulate our senses. Drinking wine can be an erotic experience. Let your eyes feast on the color of the liquid. Caress the glass, savor the taste on your lips. Do remember that excessive alcohol will make you too drowsy for the after-dinner romance. A moderate amount of wine has been said to "arouse" but much more than that amount with have the reverse affect.

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