Tantric Sex

Do you ever feel as if your sex life is stuck in a rut? Before you blame yourself or your partner for your lackluster lovemaking, you might want to give tantric sex a try.

What is Tantric Sex?

"Tantra is about consciousness and awareness," says Johanina Wikoff, Ph.D., a tantra lecturer and therapist in San Francisco, CA, and author of The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Kama Sutra (Macmillan, 2000). "Rather than saying you should try different sexual positions or give up certain things, tantra says: do the things you enjoy, but do them with awareness," she explains.
"Having a deep connection with a partner can help individuals become more relaxed and have better sexual functioning," says Linda Banner, Ph.D., a sex therapist at the University of California San Francisco-Stanford Sexual Health Medicine Program. "Tantric sex is more of a holistic connection than a purely physiological one. It involves the mind, body and spirit," she adds.

How to Last Longer in Bed

If "holistic sex" sounds like a tall order, don't panic. The following tenets of tantric sex can be painlessly incorporated into your sex life.

• Make a conscious effort to engage all of the five senses during lovemaking.

• Looking into your partner's eyes during sex can make the experience more intimate and powerful.

• Try breathing in unison. A conscious, rhythmic breathing pattern can help you connect to your partner, both emotionally and spiritually.

• Don't have sex with a set goal in mind (for example, having an orgasm). Making love without a goal or an agenda will heighten the rapport between you and your partner.

• Focus your attention on your partner's sexual needs and desires, rather than on your own.

Then again, there's something to be said for sex of the "wham-bam" variety. A satisfying sex life will probably involve both types of experiences. "Learning to differentiate the times when you want to have pure, animal sex for physical pleasure versus the times when you want to have a more spiritual type of lovemaking is really critical," admits Banner.

Delaying Orgasm
Becoming familiar with some of tantric sex's key techniques doesn't just lead to more emotionally connected, even spiritual, lovemaking. It also leads to sex that's just plan hotter. One of the most publicized benefits of tantra is that it can help a guy learn how to delay his ejaculation, thus prolonging intercourse.

"When the man really learns to slow down his sexual response-and often times that doesn't happen until he starts to age-he puts himself more in synch with the woman's sexual response, which is slower," says Wikoff. "When people are making love in the same rhythm, there's a powerful connection-and that has to be learned either through age or through a practice like tantra," she adds.

"Tantric sex involves practice, over time, in a relationship of mutual devotion and trust," says James E. Salisbury, Ph.D., an international tantra master who teaches philosophy and human sexuality at Utah Valley State College in Orem, Utah. "The ability to orgasm, especially for women, is a learned skill. The ability to raise orgasm to its maximum potential for joy and ecstatic spiritual communion is, especially for men, also a learned skill," he adds.

So the next time you're having sex, become more aware of your partner, maintain eye contact, take it slowly, and don't think about anything but the present moment. After all, great sex is not only about pursuing the pleasure of orgasm; it's also about intimacy and connection.

Hurry In!

The weather is finally getting warmer! You know what that means? That's right! We have what you need to keep your nights hot and steamy here at Studio 21 Ltd! You have to see our Lingerie Sale! We have Sexy pieces that are up to 70% off! We have tons of New Adult DVDs in our library available for rent or purchase and a vast array of Novelties to help you get the job done! So hurry in today and get busy!

Get Her To Have Dirty Sex

The minds of men are frequently occupied with sexual ideas that would repulse the average woman. While this is the typical case, don’t assume that your girlfriend doesn’t have a dirty side. One of the advantages of being in a long-term relationship is the opportunity to share your sexual fantasies with each other and try them out. Unfortunately, it may be a challenge to get your girl to reveal her nasty inner thoughts.

In order to determine if the girl you’re with is open to experimenting with dirty sex, start off by testing the waters with a few questions on the more innocent end of the sexual spectrum. Try: “Have you ever tied anyone up or been tied up?” “Do you own any sex toys?” “What do you fantasize about when you masturbate?” “What is something you’ve always wanted to try?”

These questions should get her to open up and start sharing some intimate details of her sexual personality with you. Then you can lead her down the path to dirtiness and hopefully get her to have dirty sex. If she gets scared off or grossed out by these questions, you have yourself a non-kinky girl -- too bad for you.

Still, even the innocent can be corrupted. Here are our suggestions to help you get her to have dirty sex.

Tell her about your fantasies

If you get the feeling that she’ll be receptive to taking a darker turn in your sex life together, take the first step by revealing some of your secret fantasies. Dole out a little at a time and see how she reacts. Hopefully, she’ll share some of her inner thoughts in return; when she does, make sure you show plenty of enthusiasm for her ideas if you want to get her to have dirty sex. An important thing to keep in mind when having this sharing session is to keep it in the realm of fantasy. Don’t start telling her about dirty sex you’ve had in the past with other women or your whole plot will come to a screeching halt.

Make it new for both of you

Approach the dirty experimentation like it’s new for both of you. Think of something you’ve never tried before and suggest that you try it together. If she knows you’re starting out on a level playing field, she’ll be more likely to let her inhibitions go and get wild with you. If you want to get her to have dirty sex with you and you act like you’re an expert in the area, chances are she’s going to freeze up on you instead of enjoying herself.

We have three more tips to help you get her to have dirty sex with you.

Play a sex game

So you’re both open to the idea of getting dirtier in bed together. Now, how do you get started? Talking about it is a lot easier than actually introducing the nastiness into your sex life. A sex game might be just the thing to help you get started. Visit a sex shop and check out the card and board games they have for sale. These are usually aimed at couples that want to add some excitement to their love life and they should give you some ideas. Or, use your imagination and make up your own game together at home. The idea is to get both of you to open up and start trying things out. If all else fails, you can always fall back on the old standard of Truth or Dare.

Watch porn or read erotic stories

Get each other in the mood by watching porn stars get it on or by reading some stimulating erotic fiction. Even if she’s not normally into watching porn, when you’re trying to get dirty with each other, she may be open to incorporating a video or two. Erotic writing of a less-than-professional caliber can be found all over the internet, but there are also quality sexy stories available from people with actual skill. Take a trip to the bookstore together and pick out something that looks promising.

Initiate

You are probably going to have to be the one to make the first move if you want to get a little nastier in the bedroom. Even if you’ve piqued her interest, she’s still not likely to start things off herself. Start talking dirty, set the mood and hopefully she’ll follow your lead.

she may surprise you

For most women, revealing their private, filthy thoughts may be difficult, let alone actually acting on them with you. Once you get her comfortable talking about it, disclose some of your own secrets ideas, gather some inspiration and try new things. You may be surprised to find out that your girl is more of a freak in bed than you would’ve guessed.

6 Tips For The Sex Shop Trip

If you are interested in buying sex toys, condoms, bondage material, lingerie, lube, porn or anything else that may serve to change your sex life, but you aren't confident about shopping online just yet, then a sex shop is where you want to be.

If you have never been inside a sex shop, then you may have visions of S&M, scantily-clad women or even filth and grime. You couldn't be more wrong. Sex shops look like any other store, except that the products they sell happen to revolve solely around sex.

So if you're ready to head on down to a shop to do some browsing, and perhaps even make a purchase, here are some suggestions you may want to consider first.

1- Browse sex toys online beforehand

It is advisable to do some research at a virtual store before you head to a real shop. Check out what sex toys that the online shops have to offer and, when you find what you like, make a note of the product name and the manufacturer. Then head on down to the shop and make your purchase.

This way, you won't have to wander around aimlessly and you will have an idea of what to expect at a real sex shop.

2- Go with a girlfriend

Whether it's your girlfriend or just a friend (although a girlfriend is preferable), a woman may help you feel more comfortable in this environment as you'll have someone to communicate with about the different products.

3- Don't pass judgment

When you walk into the shop and the salesperson says, "Hi," reciprocate the greeting. This isn't a covert operation; there's a demand for these shops, otherwise they wouldn't exist.

As well, don't pass judgment on other shoppers; they may be newcomers or veterans, but regardless, a sex shop client is not a whore or a gigolo. And neither are you. But even if you were, people wouldn't know it just because you're at a sex shop.

Consult the help, act natural and, of course, shop when the place is empty.

4- Consult a salesperson

The people who work at sex shops are familiar with all the products in the store, so don't be shy -- ask for help. Sex toys can get expensive, so you should be well-informed before you make any purchase; I'm pretty sure there's a no-return policy.
And if you don't understand the purpose of a certain item, again, feel free to ask.

5- Act natural

If you think something is comical, it's OK to show it. The first time that I went to a sex shop, I laughed a whole lot, but I did so discreetly. Don't worry; the salespeople are used to it. Even if you think you've seen everything, you haven't. Nothing is shameful.

6- Head there when it's empty

While there is no guarantee that there won't be anyone there at any given time, weekends and evenings will usually reap more clients than, say, early Tuesday morning. If you're painfully shy about going to a sex shop for the first time, try heading there on a weekday so that you can fully understand how the establishment works.

shop till you flop

Sometimes a new outlook on sex can make your bedroom experience that much better, and where better to search for that outlook than at a sex shop? Even if you don't want to buy anything, heading there with your girl could serve to give you new ideas.

Until next time, try to find what you're looking for.

Orgasm Myths



We’ve come a long way since the days when science doubted the existence of the female orgasm. Today, a woman’s sexual satisfaction is a major field of study and the average couple has spent a great deal of time trying to improve her experience. This is certainly appreciated, but some of you may be trying too hard; her level of satisfaction may already be everything she could hope for. That’s right: You may be striving toward a goal that has been based entirely on myth. This misinformation circulates with surprising frequency and you may be shocked (if not relieved) to learn how wrong some of them are. Read on as we discuss, and set right, the biggest female orgasm myths around.

All women want a G-spot orgasm

Put in the simplest terms possible: This is a load of crap. While it’s true that many women lust for G-spot orgasms, it’s a complete orgasm myth that all women desire such a thing. For many women, having the G-spot stimulated -- even "correctly" -- results in a sensation that can only be described as extremely uncomfortable. It can make a woman feel like she needs to urinate immediately, and that’s never fun. It can also cause her to feel pain, and not in a sexy S&M kind of way, either. In fact, the whole stimulating the G-spot thing can annoy some women to the point where it completely turns them off for the rest of the evening. Yes, some women love having their G-spot stimulated -- but many don’t.

Women need a skilled partner to orgasm

Many men pride themselves on their ability to make a woman orgasm (and your skills are definitely appreciated), but the ultimate responsibility for a woman’s orgasm belongs to her. It’s perfectly normal for a woman to have difficulty achieving a vaginal orgasm -- that’s why God invented the clitoris. Meaning: She can still achieve a fabulous orgasm even if her lover is a virgin with limited experience and know-how. A man’s efforts are certainly helpful, but if she’s not achieving orgasm she has no one to blame but herself. Additionally, many women suffer from performance anxiety just as men do. If a woman falls into this category, even the most skillful of men wouldn’t be able to make her orgasm, regardless of his efforts.

Women need to orgasm to enjoy themselves

This orgasm myth couldn’t be further from the truth. Sex feels good whether you have an orgasm or not, and when combined with the right level of intimacy, the experience can be immensely satisfying regardless of whether or not she climaxes. Many women even prefer foreplay to actual sex and orgasm. Why? Because, for some women kissing, hugging and caressing are more satisfying than anything you see in porn flicks. If you combine these acts of affection with slow and steady penetration, most women will be perfectly content at the end of your love session.

Vaginal orgasms are better than clitoral orgasms

This orgasm myth is a bit like comparing apples and oranges. OK, not exactly, but you get the idea. The basic point is this: Both are perfectly lovely and they can be equally satisfying. The only reason vaginal orgasms are regarded as the Holy Grail of ecstasy is how infrequently they occur. Statistically speaking, it’s estimated that 30% of women will never even experience one and only 30% do so with regularity. That means you have a very good chance of dating or marrying a woman who will never achieve a vaginal orgasm. Unfair as that may sound, clitoral orgasms are not to be taken lightly; they can be absolutely earth-shattering under the right circumstances, and some women prefer them. Clitoral orgasms are wonderful and there is no reason to pity a woman who hasn’t experienced an orgasm through vaginal stimulation.

Women can’t ejaculate

Anyone who still believes this orgasm myth has clearly never seen a good porn film. Women can definitely ejaculate, and some can do so more forcefully (and with more volume) than men. It’s a relatively new acknowledgment in the scientific community, so the research still leaves something to be desired, but there’s plenty of evidence to support the claim. We know that women ejaculate through the urethra, just like men. Female ejaculate contains the same substances male ejaculate contains, and it’s produced in the "female prostate" -- an organ which is extremely similar to the male prostate, albeit smaller. Women seem to ejaculate primarily through direct stimulation of the G-spot (some scientists believe this is actually the urethral sponge), but not all women can or will experience ejaculation. So, if she doesn't have a gushing end, don't think she didn't enjoy herself, just try again another time.

orgasmic mythology

So there you have it: Five female orgasm myths totally debunked. While it’s admirable to concern yourself with your woman’s pleasure and level of satisfaction, you’re not solely responsible for her orgasm. If she doesn’t have one, she could still be having the time of her life. If, however, you really have your heart set on making her holler, we recommend asking her to masturbate for you, which will provide plenty of insight (and quite a show) into how she prefers to reach orgasm.



Sexual Positions Women Enjoy

Women love sex. In fact, some women think about it just as often, if not more, then their male counterparts. They fantasize constantly and at great length (with you being the object of their desire, of course). These hot little fantasies can cover a broad spectrum of kink, but almost always involve one of the five most common vaginal and anal sex positions women enjoy. This is due to a number of reasons, the most significant being that they create a perfect balance between level of difficulty and maximum pleasure. In other words, these sex positions women enjoy result in loads of pleasure for the minimal level of effort required to pull them off. That’s not to say that women don’t love your faves as well; they’re definitely into sexual acrobatics every now and then -- but when we’re getting down and dirty, certain sex positions tend to get women more wet than others.

Private lap dance

Most women love being on top for one simple reason: It makes them feel like they're in charge, and power is always a heady aphrodisiac. Being on top is not limited to one style, however. If you’re old-school, lie on your back and have her straddle your waist before lowering herself onto you; don’t forget to lend her some support by holding her hips while she rides you. If your woman doesn’t enjoy this style, it’s likely for one of two reasons: She may feel overexposed during the act, or her legs might be a bit too short to pull it off comfortably. The easy fix for this dilemma? Move to the sofa. Sit yourself down, lean back and pull her astride you. This is definitely one of the sex positions women enjoy because it allows her to brace herself against the back of the couch, giving her excellent leverage to ride you to orgasm. She can even brace herself with one hand, leaving the other free to play with her clit.

Sex position savvy: It may be tempting to just sit back and enjoy the scenery, but if you’d like to really rock her world, tease her breasts and nipples with your tongue and trace the curve of her waist with your fingers; these moves will magnify her pleasure.

The comfort zone

More commonly known as the missionary position, the comfort zone is not to be overlooked. Nor should any man ignore its tremendous potential for scorching hot sex. Yes, it can also make for predictable, boring sex a Puritan would admire, but only if you’re lacking passion and creativity. The comfort zone is one of the top sex positions women enjoy, and for good reason: the permutations for pleasure are virtually endless, and none of them involve discomfort or the skills of a gymnast. Take charge: Lay her down on the bed, spread her legs apart by sliding your knee between her thighs, place her wrists above her head and show her what you’re made of. Women love displays of dominance in the bedroom, and this one can be either subtle or overt, making it suitable for nearly every woman out there.

Sex position savvy: Take it to the next level by talking dirty to her. Bring your lips close to her ear and whisper what you’re going to do to her; let her know she’ll be screaming your name before it’s over.

Stand at erection

This sexual position women enjoy is pretty self-evident in the title: Your woman is going to sit on a surface that stands level with your waist, and then you’re going to penetrate her as deeply as you possibly can. The further her legs are spread apart the better, and you can maximize this by drawing her legs around your waist. This will place her vagina directly against your groin, and will make deep thrusting incredibly easy for you, thereby increasing her odds of having a G-spot orgasm. Where can you put this sexual position women enjoy to good use? Try the kitchen counter, the bathroom counter, the washing machine, the piano, the hood of your car -- get as naughty as you like.

Sex position savvy: Some men come relatively quickly in this position, thanks to it’s deep-thrusting potential. Don’t be afraid to slow down and take a break to get yourself back under control. Use that time to stimulate her clitoris and bring her closer to the edge. When you start thrusting again, she’ll be just as ready as you are.

Spooning it

The spoon position makes for fabulous sex, and it’s really no wonder that it's on this list of sexual positions women enjoy. A woman loves the feel of a man’s chest against her back, she loves the feel of your arms wrapped around her and she loves the feel of being penetrated from behind. She especially enjoys it in the spoon position, because it’s incredibly comfortable and still allows you to play with her breasts and clitoris, which, frankly, most women can never get enough of.

Slide behind your woman, pull her bottom backward against your groin, and slip her top leg over your hip, drawing it slightly backward as you do so. Having her thighs spread apart like this will make her feel deliciously naughty and she’ll probably arch her body to give you even further access. This is a very comfortable sexual position women enjoy, and you can expect a great deal of moaning to ensue.

Sex position savvy: Take advantage of this position by reaching around and stimulating her clitoris, and don’t forget to talk dirty to her as you do; this is one of the best positions for pillow talk.

Stoop doggy dog

You may be surprised to see doggy style making the list, but it really is one of the sexual positions women enjoy. That said, the doggy style you see in the average porn flick isn’t really what we’re talking about here -- we’re after something a bit more intimate and far more pleasurable. Yes, women do like being bent forward on all fours and taken from behind, but they like it even more when you bend forward as well, sliding your fingers between her thighs and toying with her clit. And women simply love it when you switch things up by pulling them into a kneeling position while you continue to thrust deeply. Women definitely enjoy doggy style, as long as they aren’t made to feel like objects.

Sex position savvy: While bending forward, gently nip your woman’s shoulders with your teeth; this area is very sensitive and most women enjoy being bitten there, as it greatly intensifies the sexual pleasure.

state your position please

As mentioned previously, women love sex just as much as you do, and they’re particularly fond of it when it involves any of these woman-pleasing sexual positions. While some women may not love each position on this list, rest assured that most do, and they’re happy to experiment for the sake of keeping things fresh and exciting. Women love those kinky positions, too, but sometimes a girl just wants a man to penetrate her in a style she knows she’ll be able to orgasm from. Try one of these sexual positions women enjoy and she probably will.